Goin Once...Goin Twice...SOLD
So I went to the Bachelor Auction. It was for a very good cause, so I thought what the hell, I'll suck it up and put myself up for sale.
So here's the deal, my friends helped me come up with. The lucky bidder gets for spend eights hours with me. We would go horseback riding in the Sandhills of western Nebraska, arriving at a nice picnic dinner (dozens of miles from civilization). We will watch the sun set, then I'll take out my telescope (not a euphmism, I actually have a telescope) and we will stare up at the stars.
So how much did I go for? Well, there were two girls there that I had known from high school and they did start bidding against each other. It was kinda rigged because both of these girls are rather wealthy. The bidding got quite high, more than I had thought was possible. So how much did I go for? Well, I went for roughly $12 a pound which is roughly the same as lobster.
My price was eighth highest overall, not bad. Not bad at all.
posted by Brian at 9:25 PM
18 Comments:
Holy Crap! That's a lot of money for a platonic date. I am assuming it was platonic. It is, right?
Yes, the date was platonic. I'd like to take full credit for my selling price, but in fact I had a lot of help from the terminally sick children who the money went to help. The proceeds were split between the local children's hospital and the Make-A-Wish foundation. So not only do you get a date with me, but you also get a tax write-off.
Because every 23 year old needs a tax write-off. But I can't really talk about kids with rich parents, actually. So I'll just shut up and commend you and your friends on doing somthing good for society. More people should.
dude. brian. where the hell are you?
he'll talk to you, but only if you make a $300 donation to greenpeace
or get arrested... maybe we could rob a bank without weapons... I hear that works, and it's a good way to meet people, right stephanie? :-)
Maybe if you hit him while he is driving. He notices that. Just don't drive too fast or you'll kill him and then we'll be totally screwed. You just want startle him a bit.
ok...so the meeting people in prison was a good thing. they were super nice and you liked the one guy a lot, you just didn't know it...and they were dressed nicely
maybe if i hang chipotle burritos out my window on a string i can entice him outside where he will be forced to communicate with the real world
my car is out of action until my student loans come in... I'd have to run into him on foot
i have a car you can borrow
We are like blog comment junkies. I love it! Wait, what guys in prison?
that took a long time...there were no guys in prison per say. it was just...well...see i had this idea...and...ok so there is no easy way to explain this...but the point is, they were very nice and we are safe
and apparently they were cute! and they were willing to take the fall for us if we got caught - how sweet is that
I can't use Stephanie's car because I canna drive Standard - so I'll ride shotgun, but Stephanie has to hit on Brian
HIT brian, not hit ON brian...yeah they were willing to take the fall for us! and they bought us Chinese food! they were sweet! further proof that not all men in prison are bad...
...in your dreams
who says dreams can't come true?
oh wait...this is my life...ok...yeah...in my dreams
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